Author: reallyruth (page 3 of 5)

Those little fears

Those little fears that hinder.

Those little fears that need to be addressed, understood, properly placed.

Those little fears that need to be overcome.

To move forward, step by step,

moving towards freedom,

layer by layer, opening up,

breaking free.


I am thankful.

Blame Reassessment

Morning Coffee

This morning I was trying to use our new coffee maker and it just wasn’t working.

I would do what it told me to – it still didn’t work. I would do it again – it still wouldn’t work.
I unplug the thing, waited 30 seconds (that sometimes works with other things right?!), plugged it back in and started it again. IT STILL DIDN’T WORK!

“Breathe Ruth” (remember this is before my morning coffee). Then I read the instructions





and decided to reassess how I actually did it.

It told me to push down on the handle (like I had four other times!), so I did…
… but this time … It felt like it gave more… I pushed down harder and “VOILA” it went down further allowing the coffee to work!

My follow-through had not been there like the coffee maker had been made to accept, so wasn’t really the coffee maker’s fault after all.

Funny story but making a valid point.

There are times when it’s easy to put blame on other things, on other people, and other situations and scenarios. But sometimes when we take a step back (that could be same day, that could be years later), we recognize that in all reality they were doing what they were supposed to be doing – it just didn’t fit our agenda.

Let’s take time today and give pause, so that maybe in the future we choose not to jump on the blame game quite so quickly.

Did anyone say Coffee?…



Internation Womens Day 2017

This International Women’s Day I choose to wear red as I go about my day.

My day involves amongst other thing:

Taking my daughter to a female dentist in an office owned by a female dentist.

Then taking my in-laws to a cardiologist- a female cardiologist, who is caring for my in-laws health.

This evening I am representing our business at a Girls Night -put on by girls through a girls leadership program run out of one of our city’s middle schools.

All this while my husband works the store today.

I am very thankful that these women and girls have and are being educated and empowered to live in their full potential.

This is not the case still worldwide. May we with integrity, diligence, and kindness continue to work towards empowering all who are downtrodden.

Complaining continued

Complaining – we all do it – for real – even if we say we don’t – or call it by a different name. Right?

Sometimes we can really harness our mouth, our voice, our “speaker hole” so it is is as if we don’t complain. But just like the question “if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, does it still make a sound?” – does complaining on the inside count?

Internal self-talk affects our whole being – physically, emotionally, mentally.

1 Samuel 16:7b says “…Men (people) judge by outward appearance, but I (God) look at a man’s thoughts and intentions.”

As I reflect on my desire to live out my life in love, and practising the Fruits of the Spirit – I pray that I do this assessing my internal life as well as my external.

Being totally real, totally authentic.

So as I journey towards complaining less – may I not forget or neglect the inside complaining as well – but rather work through things inside and out with realism, and pro-activity to address problematic scenarios with helpful thoughts, comments and actions.

I am thankful.


FullSizeRender (10)


Quiet gratitude
Loud gratitude
Inconsistent gratitude
Practiced gratitude
False gratitude
Taught gratitude
Mindful gratitude


“Each night I pray a prayer of thankfulness for the things I’m not aware of. I thank him for things I am aware of – of course, but I know I miss a lot in the busy-ness of everyday life.” – Dawn




😉 I am thankful








Is it funny that is isn’t weird that we are texting about this?

I am thankful

Cause vs Contributing Factor

It seems in life, so often people will play the blame game. It’s my parents’ fault, the school’s fault, my bosses fault, my employees fault, her fault, his fault, the frog’s fault…

The thing is, there are so many people and things that influence us. In our daily activities, our growing up years; our journey. All play a part in who we are and how our lives are lived.  We are also born with our own set of genetics, personality traits, and individual strengths and vulnerabilities. So how do we handle curveballs, set backs, slamdowns, sucky scenarios? How do we process where we are in our current life state?  If we are in a bad place, or just not where we want to be – do we blame?  If we are in a good place, we are happy with our current scenario – do we credit others?

How we process things is crucial in how we develop as a human being. Having strength in character is recognizing the difference in “CAUSE” and “CONTRIBUTING FACTOR”; and knowing how to address our own responsibilities throughout the various scenarios life presents.

Let’s take a moment to look at a few scenarios where this may play out:

My child hit her sibling. She gets in trouble for said action. But she is determined it isn’t her fault because the sibling “made her so mad”…

– No – as much as said sibling may have been annoying and frustrating (Contributing Factors), the sibling did not MAKE (Cause) her to hit.

I have to be at work in 10 minutes. It takes between 8-12 minutes to get there depending on traffic and lights. I get there late. “It was because of the lights”/ “I was stuck behind this jerk… I would have been on time…”

– Um No – I could have/should have left earlier (perhaps a more realistic “cause”) allowing for slow downs (contributing factors) along the way.


I’m dealing with depression.  “It is because of my spouse and his actions, or, “it is because of a surgery”, or “it is because my career isn’t where I expected it to be”  or “it’s because I’m not eating healthily enough or exercising enough” or “well it  is in the family – so it must be because of a genetic predisposition”, or..

This one is harder for sure. Depression can be hard at times to figure out the root CAUSE, frankly because often there are so many potential Contributing Factors. Nor, can we say it isn’t real, or tell a person just to shake it off or the like – thus putting the blame, or “cause” on some supposed decision they are making. But still – getting stuck in the blame/cause does not help anyone. Being aware of contributing factors either past or present, or whatever the “straw that broke the camel’s back is – is helpful as it addresses reality, while allowing us to move forward towards healing in whatever form that takes.

Again – I get that we need to look for root causes, or where things stem from; but how about looking at these things and addressing them as contributing factors, things that may spark, or lead you to where you are at. Influences – some will be minor, some will be major, all impact. But let’s stop this blame game, and rather be more productive in addressing these people and things, and move forward in resolving and improving ourselves.

Love you all lots – I am thankful.

Disclaimer: This post is in no way addressing or intending to minimize the extreme situations like Sexual Assault or Abuse. It is intended as a reflection of our own contributions to our everyday frustrations, struggles, anxieties and situations of life.

Photo Credit: Salvatore Vuono. via

Challenges & Checkpoints


In the midst of our crazy, sometimes chaotic, but often wonderful lives, we all run into challenges. Sometimes it seems like more often than not. Sometimes the challenges are externally brought on, sometimes relationally, sometimes physically, sometimes internally… we will all face challenges.


Well to be honest – there is no set in stone way to tackle challenges as they come in all shapes and sizes. However, here are a couple things that I’ve have noted that help – both within my own experiences, and in others around me. Hopefully this will help you sort through your challenges too.

Are you asking the right questions to help you sort out the challenge?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the frustration, or are so overwhelmed, we “can’t see the forest for the trees”. We are so in the midst of it (the trees), we don’t realize that perhaps we should be looking for the bigger picture (the forest) to help us see the questions we need to be asking. Sounds good in theory… but how do we do that? Sometimes that means something so simple as taking time for a nap – refreshing the brain. Sometimes that means enlisting friends, family, and/or mentors to helps us find our way.

What are our end goals? What are the realistic checkpoints along the way?

checklist clipboardSometimes it is taking a step back and looking at the challenge from different perspectives: Where is this stemming from? Who is this stemming from? What is the purpose of this? Is this something that I actually even need to address? Is this less a challenge, and more a checkpoint… a time to take stock of where things are at? Is this a challenge that needs overcoming, or a checkpoint that is getting me to realize I need to re-direct where I am on my journey? Does this challenge reflect another step towards my end goal or away? What adjustment should be made? Do I know what my short-term and/or long-term goals are? How do I work backwards from them?

roxul wallWe set goals in business all the time. How many projects do we want to take on? What is the scale of the projects? Target market? etc. We then break those goals down by the individual projects, then further down into section by section, day by day, trade by trade. And we know that all play apart on how smoothly the project will proceed. We know that there is no point in bringing in the cabinetry people to do an install, when the drywall isn’t even up. We know that we don’t want painting going on when we are sanding things in the same area.

Sometimes we forget to enlist these same practices within our personal life. Recently I’ve gone through a time of frustrating challenges – and frankly I am still figuring out my path. I am finding my way now using the above techniques. There was a time though – where I was so lost and confused in it – the only way out was through the help of some real solid friends and mentors to help me “Ask the right questions”. I’m still learning how to do that, but it gets easier over time.

Ultimately – be encouraged – challenges may just be – checkpoints. Are you asking the right questions? They may lead us to discover the beautiful forest that we are in. One in which there are many paths to take, but all will lead us on a wonderful adventure (even if we get lost from time to time).





(Post originally written for

I am thankful.


I am an advocate!

I will speak up and highly recommend their importance!

I will do so within a context of properly allocated timing.

I will include personal experience

Justifications will be presented.

Yes – I am an advocate…



(oh – and I am thankful 😉 )


“Sleep, those little slices of death – how I loathe them.”  – Edgar Allan Poe

So not on the same page as him.

Power naps can… boost our brains, including improvements to creative problem solving, verbal memory, perceptual learning, object learning, and statistical learning. They help us with math, logical reasoning, our reaction times, and symbol recognition. Naps improve our mood and feelings of sleepiness and fatigue. Not only that, napping is good for our heart, blood pressure, stress levels, and surprisingly, even weight management.”

– Quote from George Dvorsky’s article here

Ahh – that is much better!

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